


Safe & Sound

by poetryandtragedy



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Hunger Games, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, POV Katniss Everdeen, Poverty, Pre-Hunger Games, Protective Siblings, Sad, Sad Ending, Sibling Bonding, Song: Safe & Sound (Taylor Swift), devastation, ok i admit, the ending was kinda evil of me, umm maybe more like a ~not great~ ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetryandtragedy/pseuds/poetryandtragedy
Summary: ❝Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fireThe war outside our door keeps raging onHold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone❞
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Gale Hawthorne
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. not yet the girl on fire

_ I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go _

_ When all those shadows almost killed your light _

I sat, beside Prim’s creaking bed. Ever so lightly stroking her hair as tears streamed down her face. 

There lay a seven year old Primrose Everdeen, with silent tears that didn’t seem to stop flowing ever since I told her about the mining accident, how our father died. 

I whispered,not being able to help my voice from breaking. “I’m sorry.”

I hugged Prim tight. “I’ll never let you go.” And the two of us comforted each other in our arms. 

But oh little Prim, this world is far too cruel. Too ruthless, too merciless to let a pure heart like yours survive. I saw a glimpse of it that day when dad died, and I promise I’d never let little Prim see it, ever. 

For if the little girl ever did, Her light, her love and her laugh, everything that made her Primrose Everdeen would be taken away. She’d see the world for what it was, an arena. She’d never be the same, and I just couldn’t let that happen. 

* * *

  
  


Who was Katniss Everdeen before she was the girl on fire? She was a girl just trying to survive in a cruel world, a girl just wanting to provide for her family. She was me. I am Katniss Everdeen, not yet the girl on fire.

I remember my first reaping as clear as I remember the mining accident. I was scared. 

Gale, who’d been through the process before tried to reassure me. “It’s your first reaping, Catnip, you’re not going to be picked, trust me.”

I was still scared, but did I trust Gale? Yes, yes I did. So I eased myself, or at least tried to, for his sake. 

His reassuring gaze never left mine as we stood in the square. I appreciated it, it made me feel… supported.

_ Supportive.  _ Yes, that was what Gale was. The poor boy, with his whole family to look after, still made sure I felt safe. 

But oh young Gale, this world is far too cruel. 

I held my breath as Effie Trinket announced the female tribute, It wasn’t me. I held my breath as she announced the male tribute, It wasn’t Gale. And this continued year after year. I held my breath everytime, it wasn’t me. I held my breath everytime, It wasn’t Gale. 

And that was all that mattered right? We were safe. Perhaps you could say that nobody in the districts, especially Twelve, were ever safe, but we were just trying to get by. 

I knew the odds weren’t ever in our favour, Gale had name put in 42 times, to save his family from starving, and me not many times less than that. We couldn’t escape the reapings forever. 

But that thought was not something I could dwell on for any longer, not only because I had other important things to do but the realization that there was a high chance for Gale to get picked and thrown into the arena scared me, and a  _ what if _ hasn’t scared me since my first reaping.

I don’t know what I’d do if he was thrown into the arena, and frankly I’m not sure what he would do If I was thrown in instead. Perhaps do our best to look after each other’s family, It’d be hard, and sad. It was a scary possibility.

But, darling, isn’t everything.

* * *

  
  


Hunting with Gale, something I actually looked forward to. I’ve gotten better over the years, and I take pride in that. But the only person who ever sees that pride is Gale, for who else could I ever tell. 

“I taught you that, y’know.” He’d say ever so often when I’d beat him to a kill. I’d just roll my eyes. 

I remember being merely twelve or thirteen years old when Gale had taught me how to hunt, properly at least. He taught me without making me feel inferior. 

“With that aim, you might as well beat me one day, Catnip” he used to say, and now I finally could. 

I laughed at the days when I could barely hold a bow and arrow correctly. Gale would help me adjust my grip. _ Keep going _ , he’d say.  _ You’re gonna do it. _ And then finally, I shot my first kill. Gale was just as happy as me. 

The world was cruel, but this was  _ our _ world, we could make it as we wanted it to be. 

Hunting with Gale was when neither of us had to be providers for our family. We were just teenagers, doing what we loved, rebelling maybe, but together nevertheless. 

Hunting with Gale was my time to unwind, to finally have the pressure off my shoulders. And I was sure it was for him too.

Hunting with Gale made me forget about the horrors of the world, just for a while. During this time, the world didn’t turn out to be the way it had. There were no districts, no Hunger Games. 

But this time could only last for so long.

* * *

  
  


On a good day, I’d get treats for Rory and the other kids. His eyes would light up and he’d hug me tight. Mrs Hawthorne, and Gale too, would always tell me not to go through the trouble of getting those, but I wanted to. It made little Rory happy. 

He, like Prim, hadn’t yet seen the real world. And with his glowing childish eyes and innocent heart, I didn’t want him to see it, not yet at least. Let him enjoy this, I thought. Young, Innocent, carefree days. 

For this world is far too cruel. Too ruthless, too merciless to let a pure heart like yours survive.


	2. never got the hint

_ Just close your eyes, the sun is going down _

_ You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now _

_ Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound _

I hugged Prim. She was scared, scared she was going to die. 

It was the dead of the night, some people had been rioting and the peacekeepers had come to ‘settle things down’. But we all know how that goes.

The loud screams, cries of agony and desperation were slightly muffled by our house walls. But you could do nothing but listen. 

Prim whimpered in my arms as a woman screamed. 

“Shh.” I whispered, scared my voice would crack. “It’s okay. It's okay.” 

“It’ll all be alright okay. The sun is going to come up. You’ll be alright.”

But the sun still had hours to rise. I’d just hoped she’d fall asleep to escape the dreadful night. Hoped that when she’d wake up, the world would be better. But would it?

It wasn’t long when she finally closed her eyes. I looked at her then, so peaceful, so oblivious.

She’d see the world soon, perhaps she’d already got a glimpse of it. And this time, I was scared.

For this world is far too cruel. Too ruthless, too merciless to let a pure heart like yours survive.

* * *

  
  


“Mallark can’t stop looking at you.” Gale had said. I was in my ninth year, Gale—obviously being two years older—was in his eleventh. 

We were sitting beside each other during lunch, knees brushing against each other. It was the two of us, and two of Gale’s other friends. Thom, I think, one was called. But the two others were caught up in a conversation that Gale and I weren’t much interested in. 

It was a plain statement, but the hint of  _ something _ in his voice confused me. His eyes looked at mine briefly before they parted, almost as if he realised what he was doing all of a sudden and wanted to take back his words.

But in the second he looked at my eyes, directly into them, I caught somewhat of emotion. It wasn’t jealousy, perhaps a bit of agitation or maybe even desperation, but It was there a moment and then gone the next. 

I’d noticed Peeta Mallark’s eyes on me more than often but didn’t seem to understand why Gale would care. 

I laugh thinking about it. I understand now. But oh, young Katniss, you never got the hint. 

Just like the times when that feisty girl with a bow and arrow of maybe fifteen or sixteen was oblivious to her best friend, her best friend who was in love with her. 

At that time I didn’t see what he saw in me, perhaps I still don’t, but there was something. Just  _ something _ that kept him going. 

I recall those times, when he’d look at me just a second longer, or he’d complement me in a way of showing his true emotion, but I never got the hint. 

Poor young innocent, oblivious Katniss.

* * *

  
  


Usually, on days when my mother had one to many patients at home, or even when we thought she needed some peace and privacy, we’d go over to the Hawthorne residence, where we were always welcome. 

At times I’d play with Posy. Oh little Posy

It was no wonder Gale loved her so. She was so young, so tiny. And adorable beyond words. Prim had grown a soft spot for her too, but then who wouldn’t.

Our visits to the Hawthorne house were always looked forward to by Prim. Hazelle would say that Prim just radiated warm energy, even on the coldest of days, and I agreed. She, Rory and Posy got along well. 

With all of us, the relatively small house filled up with joy. And it was all worth it to see Hazelle’s expression—and my mother’s too when the Hawthorne’s came to visit us—as she clasped her hand together and looked at her children lovingly and with pride, counting me and Prim as hers too. 

And for the time being, everything was okay. 

When we were together, the smell of Hazelle’s delicious and rare turkey with sometimes even a once-in-a-blue-moon cherry pie for dessert, blocked out the cruel world outside our door. 

And we were happy. 


	3. to keep them warm

_ Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire _

_ The war outside our door keeps raging on _

There were times in the Seam when nearing the end of the year, it would be so cold that we would have to sell or burn our belongings in order to not freeze to death before the sun would rise. 

During times like those, I couldn’t help feeling envious about the people who stayed in their homes, cozy with bellies full of warm tasty food. People like Madge Undersee perhaps. But this wasn’t the time to be bitter.

As we threw the last of the few books we owned into the fire that night, I wondered what the situation would be like for the Hawthorne’s.

No different than ours maybe. But with little Posy, Rory and Vick to keep warm, I could only imagine the stress Gale and Hazelle would be going through.

Oh poor Gale, you had to take up responsibilities no boy your age should. 

I knew well that we had enough supplies to get us through the night, even the week if we were to tread carefully, but with the relatively larger Hawthorne family, I wasn’t quite as sure. 

So we decided to go over. I knew well that Gale would never accept any help from me, despite everything he insisted he could take care of his family the way his father had. But we went anyway, he’d know better than to have his little sister freeze through the night. 

The situation there was just as I had predicted it to be. A near dying fire, everyone huddled around it, and Gale out in order to somehow get his hands on some coal or wood. But there was only so much a seventeen year old boy could do. 

Yet he had to keep his family warm against the bitter cold that didn’t just exist in the weather. The bitter cold that had taken human form in the hearts of certain people. People, whom we had to follow.

So despite courteous protests from Hazelle, we threw in the little bit of our wood into their fireplace and joined the Hawthorne’s for the wait of Gale’s return, well aware that the temperature outside was enough to cause him frostbite. 

Eventually he came, and was understandably surprised to see us. 

“Catnip,” he addressed me first as he had seemed to usually do for awhile, something I didn’t realise until now wasn’t coincidental. “Prim, Mrs Everdeen, what are you guys doing here?”

My mother spoke up first. “Us people living in the Seam have got to have each other’s back on a cold winter evening like this now, don’t we.” she smiled.

And for the rest of the evening, we stayed there. The house was, once again, filled with happy chatter and laughter. 

I remember looking at Gale then, how happy he was. How I found myself smiling when he did and my laughter mirroring his. For the time being, he had no responsibilities. He was a kid, like me.

Gale had even told that one funny story of when the two of us were at Greasy Sae’s, when he embarrassed Darius in front of everyone. Thankfully he left out the details of why. Vick was entertaining as ever, with his jokes that weren’t funny to the point where they made us laugh. 

With us together in that moment, me resting my head on Gale’s shoulder and Prim and Rory talking about who knows what, the raging war outside our door was forgotten. 

* * *

But a war like so could be forgotten for only so long. The familial bliss had faded the next day. We lived in the poorest district, and as the sun rose and we parted, that fact was reminded to us once again. 

I tried to cling on to the feeling of the night before. Is that how families in the district feel, always so happy, always so content?

But I wouldn’t know, would I? That’s a reality distant from mine, and to fantasize about it would be to waste precious time, something that I couldn’t afford in this reality of oppression and suffering that I called my life. 

One must cling on to any feeling of happiness here, for who knows how long it would last.


	4. reapings and anxiety

A year passed, then two, then three and eventually, It was time for Prim’s first reaping. 

She was scared, and this time so was I. But I had to be strong, for her. 

So I was. I told her over and over ‘Everything’s going to be alright.” and “Stop worrying, It’s your first reaping, you only have one slip in.” 

In her eyes, I was completely sure that she wouldn't be picked. But honestly, I wasn’t. 

Yes, she had but one slip in, but then again, the odds are never in our favor. I remember a boy was picked years ago on his first reaping, he was the first to die in the arena. I tried not to, but thoughts like those, with Prim instead, creeped into my mind as I tried to sleep the night before. 

The only person who knew how I truly felt, not the way I forced myself to feel for the sake of keeping my family strong, was Gale. I didn’t need to tell him anything, he knew. 

He always knew.

“Don’t stress about it too much Catnip.” he said as we lay in the meadow together.

With him there, it was an escape, a getaway. Temporary, but something at least.

He had started his ranting but may have realised I had something else on my mind.

Gale, always looking out for everyone, always worrying.

“I-” I didn’t know what to say. “I can’t help it.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at me.

“Hey,” I looked into his eyes; gray, shining with specs of light from the sun. “It’s gonna be alright. I mean it.” 

He was sincere, not like other people had been, pitifully almost, but he was sincere. 

And that was all that took for my shoulders to not be tense anymore, and I could finally breathe. I knew what he said didn't exactly change Prim’s chances, but it gave a sense of reassurance. Gale was best at that, wasn’t he.

He noticed and smiled, which I returned. No words were needed.

Little did I know how important that was. Little was I aware of how much I’d crave that ‘no-words-needed’ connection again. But, oh, how oblivious I was to what was right in front of me.

* * *

Everyone had gathered in the square for the reaping this year. 

I realised that all my previously faltered anxiety for the events about to take place had returned, doubled even as of now. 

We stood in what some may believe to be an organised manner, but really we were just lambs being told to behave before we’d be killed. I took in a deep breath as we were once again reminded of how powerless we were against the capitol the way we were reminded that every year. 

My heart beat mirrored Prim’s, as well as probably everyone else’s; pounding. Effie Trinket, in her ridiculous outfit, stood in the middle of two almost filled bowls. 

Somewhere in the right one was one slip with Prim’s name, and many of mine. Somewhere in the left one were many of Gale’s. I admit, I wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying, my heart was beating too fast for me to pay proper attention.

This feeling was almost foreign. There had been many times in my life when I had to do risky things, yet I was never really scared. I guess I knew that if i were to be caught, I’d face the consequences. But here, it was different.

Not only was there a chance of me being reaped, but also Prim. We were both at risk here. 

“Ladies first.” and her dipped into the bowl. Building up anticipation, she took her time choosing. Until she finally did. She opened it up and in it was the name of a girl whose life would now take a drastic turn.

I held my breath, and so did everyone. Parents had clasped their hands together, children stood scared and uncomfortably.

It was deadly silent. A part of me wanted her to just say the name already, the other part wanted time to stop at that moment. But time doesn’t change for anyone.

“The female tribute of District Twelve is,”

I gulped.

“Madge Undersee.”

I’m not sure what emotion I felt in that moment, but I didn’t like it. 

A weird mixture perhaps. Relief, pity, sadness.

I couldn't pay attention to my surroundings and how everyone, especially the mayor, reacted. My thoughts occupied my headspace.

Was I happy that Prim wasn’t chosen, of course! It was a huge relief. ButI’d known Madge, she was the only person aside from Gale who I would consider a friend. I remember afternoons when we’d deliver her strawberries, her favorite. 

Then the male tribute. 

“Peeta Mallark.”

Oh. You could say I knew him too, but not much. Bread, he was the boy with the bread.

“And may the odds be  _ ever _ in your favour.” her words ringed in my ears. 

It wasn’t fair, none of the reapings were ever fair.


	5. a little bit of hope

I look back and remember how for the first time in my life, people had hope. 

_ Hope. _

So close yet so far.

When Madge Undersee was chosen, people in 12 talked but a tiny bit more hope in their voice when they said her name. Said that District 12 may finally have a victor.

But I knew what Madge was feeling, in that very moment maybe even.

You could say that we were friends perhaps. Yes, she could fight despite being the mayor’s daughter and all, but I wasn’t sure she had the courage to kill. I could imagine her easily taking on some of the other tributes in the arena, but for her to take a life seemed too far off.

Gale knew that.

We were sitting on the grass, Gale with his knees to his chest, and I was resting on my elbows. He’d gone on and on about the matter while I lay there thinking about poor Madge’s family.

He said that they were just being optimistic, perhaps putting too much aspiration in her. I said that if it brought a smile on Prim’s face, It was okay.

“We can’t afford putting so much hope on her.” he said. “What if she loses? Then what? People are devastated, the atmosphere saddens, things all go downhill.”

Perhaps he was just being logical, but I didn’t reply.

Standing up from the grass we were partially lying on, he extended his hand out to me to get up.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Catnip.”

I got up myself, ignoring his hand. I didn’t need it. He knew better than to push it.

A little bit of hope is all that people might need sometimes.

_ A little bit of hope. _

I stuck my mind to it. 

As we walked back home, I admired the beauty of my surroundings. No peacekeepers, no oppression, no rule. Just me, Gale and the mockingjays above. Peaceful.

“I didn’t mean it that way, y’know.” Gale stated.

I looked at him and continued walking, and so did he.

He felt the need to explain, “It's just— we both know Madge would never hurt a fly, and as much as we want the best, there’ll be career tributes and all sorts of others who’ve trained all their lives. Why give people false hope?”

“I know you didn’t mean it like that. All I’m trying to say is,” I thought for a moment, and then said softly as though I wanted to convince myself. “All i’m trying to say is that it’s hope, and who knows, maybe it could do something.”

I wasn’t angry or annoyed by virtue of that I would have probably had the same reaction, if Prim’s wasn’t as hopeful as so.

I respected his, and he did mine. And we walked back home in silence, except for the mockingjays singing above.


	6. young and oblivious

Every so often, my mind wanders back in time, to the hob with Gale, when a certain red-headed peacekeeper usually made his way towards us, towards me.

Darius thought he was being funny, Gale didn’t.

Oh so protective, always.

The way he thought it was his duty to stand up for me.

“It’s okay, Gale, don’t stress yourself over it.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“No, it's not. He has no right to talk to you like that.”

I sighed. “Well, they don’t have the right to do lots of things. But this Panem isn’t it.”

Little did I know what was going through Gale’s mind. That was the moment, wasn’t it, when everything changed.

I was just young Katniss, young and oblivious.

Oblivious to the gray eyes that would glance at me hesitantly. Oblivious to the strong hands that would hold me close. Oblivious to the one person that made me feel the safest.

But you never know how much you want something until you can’t have it. 

Gale had many flirtatious eyes locked on him while we were in school, even on the streets sometimes, but he never paid any attention to them. In a way it was comforting, the way he just didn’t care about them.

As for me, well, no boy really ever took interest in me. I, like most other people in the seam, was mostly underweight. And for being a girl you apparently needed fat in certain areas of yourself, but to be honest, I never really took it into too much consideration of how I looked. 

So it naturally came to me as a surprise when a certain baker noticeably started looking at me. Gale had pointed it out before, and frankly it didn’t bother me then. But now, as those said, flirtatious eyes grew on Gale, understandably though as we got older and he became more mature and dare i say good-looking, they made me feel insecure in a way. 

Maybe not of myself, but more of how easily he could get any of them. I tried to reassure myself, he did say that he didn’t care for those girls, but as another one of the girls batted her eyelashes and twirled her hair at him during lunch, I felt my heart beating slightly faster, or maybe I just heard it more clearly now.

He noticed the girl and smirked, but then concentrated back on the tasteless food we had been given. That girl however, took his expression as a sign of victory and giggled, her face bright with triumph which in turn got me involuntarily staring angrily at her. My hands clenched and I could feel my short, uneven fingernails digging into the flesh.

“You okay?” Gale asked me with a puzzled look.

“Yeah.”

We were both young. 

_ Young, and oblivious. _


	7. you grow and realize

But young and oblivious you can stay so long. Eventually you grow up, you realise. I don’t remember whether it was me first or Gale, but calling each other a ‘friend’ brought with it an unexpected twinge of ...  _ wrong.  _ It just wasn’t the word anymore. 

Perhaps there was a word for friends, but with deeper more emotional connections- _ friends _ that understand each other better than any friend ever could-perhaps we were that. But then again, perhaps we were something our world wouldn’t let us be, or something we didn’t let us be.

And then suddenly, every hunt, every word, every look mattered more. Back then I used to think it was just on my side. I thought that the warm feeling of adoration-no, exaltation-only filled me. But just inches away from me, he thought the same. And then with the insecurity and uncertainty of the human mind, we both looked away.

And looking away was something that pained both of us so dearly, but it was what we did, and oh how we wish we didn’t. 

“Madge Undersee caused quite the bustle today.” Gale said as we walked back home under the sky quickly turning into a darker indigo. “People have hope, maybe they’re still a bit nervous, but they have hope.”

I walked alongside him, carrying the small amount of our kill, and not meeting his eyes. “Do  _ you _ have hope?”

“It doesn’t matter does it, the capitol wouldn’t be happy to see a district 12 girl with the slightest chance to win, would they now?”

I didn’t reply, we both knew they wouldn’t be. 

He looked up at the sky and sighed. “They’re probably thinking of ways to kill her right now.”

I didn’t reply, again.

But what he said prior to that was true. The people from the capitol wouldn’t be happy, but more than that, Snow wouldn’t be happy. For him, our tiny spark of hope was a riot, a rebellion in the process. I knew Gale was thinking the same thing. 

He looked at me hesitantly and realised. “Let’s just not talk about it.”

“What do you wanna talk about ?” I shrugged.

And the answer came out way too quickly for him to consider it. “Us.” He wanted to take it back as swiftly as it came out, I could tell. But I was glad he did, because I wanted to too.

A small smile unexpectedly creeped up on my lips. “Sure.” and for once I was the one who caught him off guard. 


	8. safe and sound

_ Just close your eyes, you'll be alright _

_ Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound _

All I wanted to do was survive, to help my family survive. I never wanted to be in the Hunger Games-no one does-but I couldn’t let Prim go. I made lots of hard decisions in my life. As a sixteen year old and even now as a thirty-three year old. Life doesn’t get easier-it was never easy in the first place.

Here I sit in the meadow, thinking about how my life would’ve been if I'd chosen a different path. Perhaps in another reality, I’d be here with my kids. And maybe they’d have an aunt to play with them. Maybe Prim would have a niece and a nephew, and we’d live happily ever after. We could say that despite the life we were given to face, we made it through- _ all _ of us. But we didn’t.

And Gale. I guess it took me too long to realise that we were too alike for our own good. It pained me just as much as it did it him-but sometimes letting go is the only thing you can do. I guess a part of me always knew that Peeta and I couldn’t really be together. But there was a point in my life when I looked at Gale and truly saw a future.

Now all I do is close my eyes, and wait for the morning light. I hum our little lullaby everyday-as if singing it to Prim’s roaming ghost.

Oh little Prim, this world was far too cruel. Too ruthless, too merciless to let a pure heart like yours survive.


End file.
